If aliens landed on earth and wanted to know what a “father” is, what would they think?
From observing our media and online content, they’d probably assume a father is a subpar species of humans that is incompetent in caregiving and functioning.
But then sometimes, their attempt to complete tasks otherwise defaulted to the “mother” species elicits gold medals, slaps on the back, and flattering headlines.
This isn’t true (or fair). Let’s explore.
Depictions of fatherhood in the media and parenting content aren’t doing dads any favors.
Whatever kind of father figure you are, you’ve probably fallen into one of these stereotypes.
5 dad stereotypes in parenting content that we totally hate
I asked some dads of Twitter what cliches and stereotypes they’re sick of hearing (feel free to add onto this thread!)
Most of these are true in content reflecting heterosexual parents, though I’m sure other family types face their own share of unfair profiling.
1. The Babysitter 👨👧👦
Just, ya know, sitting on my own kid.
We love a supportive king.
2. The Hero 🦸♂️
There is a really, really, low bar for dads that even I can’t limbo under (and I’m historically a good limbo-er).
YOU brought your kids to their doctor appointment?
YOU found the diapers AND maxi pads at Target ALL BY YOURSELF!?!?!?
You COMBED your DAUGHTER’S hair?!?!?!
YOU MADE DINNER?!?!?!?!?!?! *gasp*
3. The lazy POS 💤
How many TikToks have we seen of dads sleeping while the baby is watching TV or exposing their laundry on the floor?
It’s like Homer Simpson has infiltrated every modern home. D’oh!
4. The never-seen-kids-before 😨
Dads are often portrayed as not knowing how to do basic parenting things, like changing a diaper, feeding kids, or sharing in the mental load.
5. Mr. Mom 🧹
Incompetence meets traditional gender roles. Michael Keaton really set the stage for this one.
Dads need more targeted, helpful content
The mommy content space doesn’t lack tips, tricks, and ideas for parenting your kids. The problem? It’s all targeted at moms.
Dads need help with these things, too; most probably aren’t following all the momfluencers.
A SAHD friend had some great input on what types of content dads are looking for:
“What I would like to see are ideas or things to do with your kids from the dad’s view. Also, what to do when you have multiple kids. A lot of what I see is ‘Little Jimmy likes to explore so we found a river in the woods.’ That’s fun and all, but what if you have another kid that isn’t a strong walker yet? Or trying to balance attention to both kids when doing the activities. That’s something I truly feel that I fail at and would benefit from support.” - Jay
Praise the things a lot of dads do well (vs. where they miss)
Let’s take a staple “dad” thing like roughhousing, for example. Active play like wrestling is a critical part of child development. Physical play teaches so many great lessons like boundaries, self-control, exercise, appropriate touch...and it’s fun!
Instead of shaming dads for roughhousing on videos, maybe we could say, “Wow! Look how fun that looks! Look at Little Mae’s big smile, and she’s learning how to ask to stop or do it again! How loving! Wowowowow! Go, dad!”
Dads can also be instrumental in teaching and modeling respect for others. The biggest way is by loving/supporting their partner in a way the kids are able to see. If the parents aren’t together, they can still respect the other parent if it’s safe and appropriate. As a society, we don’t appreciate how important this is.
Add changing tables in men’s restrooms
Okay, this doesn’t really have to do with parenting content, but I still really, really need it to happen.
My husband is the designated changer when we’re in public (thank God) and sometimes he has to come back out of the bathroom because there’s no changing table in the men’s room (🙄).
Hot tip: Take your kid’s bottoms off before you go into an airplane bathroom to change them.
We were on a 2-hour flight with our son and he had a stinky diaper. My husband took him into the airplane bathroom for a change but my son threw his shorts into the toilet. IDK why but we saved and put them in a plastic bag (they were like $4 Target shorts), but it straight smelled like a plane toilet. I threw them out when we got home. Fun times.
TL;DR: Dads need good content, too. They need better representation than the stereotypes in media and parenting content because a lot of them are truly amazing.
Share this story with a dad who needs to feel seen.